School Answering Machine

 

 

 

 The outgoing message:

Hello! You have reached the automated answering service of your school.
In order to assist you in connecting to the right staff member, please
listen to all the options before making a selection:

To lie about why your child is absent - Press 1
To make excuses for why your child did not do his work -Press 2

To complain about what we do - Press 3
To swear at staff members - Press 4
To ask why you didn't get information that was already enclosed in your
newsletter and several flyers mailed to you - Press 5
If you want us to raise your child - Press 6
If you want to reach out and touch, slap or hit someone - Press 7

To request another teacher, for the third time this year - Press 8

To complain about bus transportation - Press 9
To complain about school lunches - Press 0

If you realize this is the real world and your child must be accountable
and responsible for his/her own behavior, class work, homework and that
it's not the teachers' fault for your child's lack of effort: Hang up
and have a nice day!