Lighten Up ! Just Laugh ! 웃으면 복이 온데요 !

 

 

                                * CAUGHT on THE JOB *

The new army recrit was given guard duty at 2 a.m.

He did his best for a while, but at about 4 a.m.

he went to sleep.

He awakened to find the officer of the day

standing before him.

Remembering the heavy penalty

for being asleep on guard duty,

this smart young man kept his head bowed

for another moment

and looked upward

and reverently said,

" A - a - a -men ! "

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

* JOSE AND CARLOS *

 Jose and Carlos are panhandling

at the freeway off ramp.

Jose drives a Mercedes, lives in a mortgage free house

and has a lot of money to spend.

Carlos only brings in 2 to 3 dollars a day.

Carlos asks Jose how he can bring home

a suitcase full of $10  bills every day.

Jose says, " Look at your sign. "

It reads :

" I have no work, a wife & 6 kids to support ! "

Carlos looks at Jose's sign.

It reads :

" I only need another $10 to move back to Mexico. "

 

 

 

 

 

 * A NEW CEO *

A large company,

feeling it was time for a shakeup,

hired a new CEO.

This new boss was determined

to rid the company of all slackers.

On a tour of the facilities,

the CEO noticed a guy leaning on a wall.

The room was full of workers

and he wanted to let them know that he meant business.

The new CEO walked up to the guy leaning against the wall and asked "How much money do you make a week?"

A little surprised, the young fellow looked at him

and replied, "I make $300 a week. Why ?"

The CEO then handed the guy $1,200 in cash and screamed,

"Here's four weeks' pay, now GET OUT and don't come back."

Feeling pretty good about himself,

the CEO looked around the room

and asked, "Does anyone want to tell me

what that goof-off did here?"

From across the room came a voice,

"Pizza delivery guy from Dominos."

 

 

 

 

 

* MY GRANDMOTHER *

 Shortly after my father's death,

my 90-year-old grandmother insisted

that my mother have a complete physical.

After some debate,

my mother reluctantly made an appointment.

The doctor not only gave her a clean bill of health,

but remarked that she'd probably live to be 110.

To our surprise,

my grandmother did not seem

entirely pleased by the good report.

She sat quietly for a few minutes,

then said with a sigh,

"And just what am I going to do

with a 110-year-old daughter ?"