Golf Jokes

A priest rushed from church one day 

to keep a golf date.

He was half way down the first fairway,

waiting to hit his second shot,

when he heard the familiar "FORE"

and a ball slammed into his back.

Soon the golfer who had made the drive

was on the scene to offer his apologies.

When the priest assured him

that he was all right, the man smiled.

"Thank goodness, Father!" he exclaimed.

"I've been playing this game for forty years,

and now I can tell my friends

   that I've hit my first holy one.

 

 

Wife to husband : "What's your excuse

    for coming home at this time of the night?"

Husband to wife : "Golfing with friends, my dear."

Wife to husband : "What? At 2 AM ?!"

Husband to wife : "We used night clubs."

 

 

A man and a friend are playing golf one day

at their local golf course.

One of the guys is about to chip on to the green

when he sees a long funeral procession

on the road next to the course.

He stops in mid-swing,

takes off his golf cap,

closes his eyes,

and bows down in prayer.

His friend says,

"Wow, that is the most thoughtful

and touching thing I have ever seen.

              You truly are a kind man."

The man replies :

 Yeah, well we were married for 35 years."