Medical Jokes

 

 

 

WHEN an increasd patient load began to overwhelm

our hospital's emergency room,

we initiated a triage system to ensure that

the most critical people were treated first.

However, some of the less seriously ill patients occationally had to wait as long as several hours

before they could be seen.

Complaints were common.

One day, trauma cases abounded,

and the wait was particularly long.

A police officer came in and

approached the unit clerk. "I hate to tell you this,"

he said apologetically,

"but we got 911 call from your waiting room." 

 

 

 

A MAN went to his doctor complaining of a sore leg.

"Doc, I've tried all kinds of salves and ointments,

and it's just not getting any better."

After examining him, the doctor said,

"I'm sorry, but there's nothing I can do.

It's just old age you're Feeling."

"But, Doc," said the man,

"My other leg doesn't hurt, and it's the same age."

 

 

 

Sarda visits Chinese friend

who is dying in hospital.

The Chinese friend just says

"CHIN YU YAN" and dies.

Sadarji goes to China to find out

the meaning of his friend's last words.

And finds It means

"YOU ARE STANDING on the OXYGEN TUBE !"

 

             

A distraut senior citizen

phoned her doctor's office.

"Is it true," she wanted to know,

that the medication you prescribed

has to be taken for the rest of my life?"

"Yes, I'm afraid so," the doctor told her.

There was a moment of silence

before the senior lady replied,

"I'm wondering, then,

just how serious is my condition

because this prescription is marked

'NO REFILLS.' "

 

 

"WHO SHOT THE BEAR?"

An 80 year old man is having his annual check-up

at his doctor's office. He says to his doctor,

"I've never felt better in my whole life.

Infact, I have a 20 year old bride who's

pregnant and having my child.

What do you think of that?"

The doctor thinks for a second and says,

"Let me tell you a story.

I know this guy who's an avid hunter.

He never misses a hunting season.

But one day he's in a hurry to go hunting

and he accidentally grabs his umbrella

 instead of his rifle.

So he's in the woods and suddenly

a giant grizzly bear appears out of nowhere.

He raises his umbrella, points at the bear,

squeezes the handle and

the bear drops dead in front of him.

What do you think of that?"

The old man says,

"That's impossible.

Someone else must have shot that bear!"

"EXACTLY" says the doctor.